here

Plan: To eat the greatest destructive force in the world.

I was all dressed for success
but success it never comes
and i'm the only one who laughs
at your jokes when they are so bad
and your jokes they're always bad
but they're not as bad as this:
 come join us in a prayer
 we'll be waiting, waiting here
 everything's ending, yeah.

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Enter Whitby

So yes, the move happened, and like all moves was a haze of mind-numbing packing, desperate rushing, meals on the run. We hired help to pack and move, which really, is the only option, but the experience remained a heavy energy drain. MJ and Sora stayed at the apartment while I got the cats accustomed to their new home. I'd anticipated that the larger space would ease their stress, and it has measurably, but not as as completely as I'd hoped -- they remain aloof at best to each other. How's Whitby, you ask? While my bitter disappointment of moving out of Toronto has lost the worst of its sting, the wound is reopened whenever I go outside, whether to walk the missing sidewalks, or ride the infrequent buses, or drive the inscrutably clogged roads. We're located on the edge of the downtown, such as it is, which simply highlights the slapdash zoning and lack of any kind of urban planning. The library is really nice though . We are mostly settled: The boxes are gone, the fur
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Peterborough

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Back in September we took a family trip to Peterborough -- a sort of holiday for Sora and I and a regular work day for MJ. I guess I must be getting old because I found the 2+ hour drive draining, a real slog. The Prius is a pretty comfortable ride but my body complains from sitting that way for so long. Arriving in Peterborough, my first time, felt both familiar and strange. I could see how the freshly resurfaced downtown attempted to hide some dusty history, bringing to mind the downtowns of Kitchener and Guelph, which I guess makes sense as this is another university town: The same 60s low-rise downtown, pockmarked with signs of poverty, the same pre-war homes, many chopped into multi-unit rentals, the same bafflingly congested roads that compete with inadequate public transit. Our hotel was located just outside the downtown and served well enough. Sora found the experience exhilarating, excited by the new bed, a new room with just mama and papa. We ordered some Greek takeout, very
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fifty is the number

I turned fifty last month. We had a small party with old faces, lots of laughs, and, at least for me, a reminder of the life I had before the pandemic, before having a kid, before my colon surgery . That is to say, a good time, and I hope to have many more like it. I do feel older, in practical, daily ways. For one thing my eyes have gotten much worse over the past year, so bad that I find myself looking over my glasses to look at my phone. My skin is just ravaged by this dry winter air, well beyond anything I'd ever experienced. A lifetime of neglect and sun-exposure has finally caught up to me. While I'm not exactly getting heavy I have noticed a softness building up around my torso. So over the past few months I've taken to doing modified burpees as my daily exercise and have been pretty happy with the results. I do them in small bursts, HIIT-style, and that seems about the pace I can afford, both on a time and energy level. I do try to play video games but I definitely
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