hwan.com

Halifax Public Gardens Mary Jean got a post-doc in Halifax, and I spent a couple weeks there helping her get settled in. My expectations of the east coast were rather limited*, so I'm glad to have filled some of that in. Indeed, the more time I spend there the more I find myself enjoying Halifax, with its coastal charm, walk-able downtown, and many sprouting districts. As a small city (~400k people), it fits that desirable niche of being large enough to have the amenities of a modern city without the daunting issues of a bigger one. Halifax Central Library My second week there was during an unseasonal heat wave, and while MJ worked I sought shelter in the beautiful Halifax Central Library, an impressive structure that embodies the coming together of civic will, a common good that all can enjoy, a modern structure that makes the most of efficient technologies. I also got to get re-acquainted with some old friends, some dear faces whom I'd never forget but have no...

I spent the day at home, having to wait to get my heat-pump serviced (again) -- this time it seems it needed a flushing out, by which I suppose it was clogged in some capacity. A novel thing, working from home: cats at my feet, a large pot of coffee within reach, dressed in my most comfortable of attires. I rather enjoyed it, and got to try out the local Sky Blue Sky sandwich shop; excellent chowder! Earlier this week I did one of my spur-of-the-moment rides across the city, from downtown to the beaches and back home, a circuitous route, some 20 km, navigating by will alone, without a destination or goal other than to feel the city pass by, to push my legs and lungs. Such glorious weather, I could not deny its call to enjoy it. I have been keeping up with karate. Mostly keeping up, there being only the one class a week right now. I would like to say that I've been keeping up with my workouts as well, but that would be a blatant lie; I go through phases of regular and not at all...

What better way to welcome the winter snow than with a viewing of Fargo, that study in tense moments. My first full viewing, as a matter of fact; I'd somehow caught the ending a couple times, which I found depressing. How extreme a situation, a series of situations, that would cause someone to think that they were doing right by hiring thugs! I don't mean to judge, only to contemplate. I enjoyed the characters, their speech, their peculiarities. December, and winter, and the end of 2013. A time for reflection, and in so doing, I feel less than pleased with my efforts. Health-wise, I haven't put much time into the gym or into karate, which shows. But I am off my colitis medication and am fairing well enough. I put time into The Dave and Hwan Show . I worked on a board game. I suppose I went to a couple marches and rallies. And I did do a fair bit of donating to things this year. MJ and I have been going to couples therapy, which I feel is making some difference. And I ha...

Ok, here's me trying to keep the journal/blog/webjo thing going... it ain't easy! There aren't enough hours for all I want to do, or all I want to read, or all the turns in Dungeon Raid I need to make.... anyway, I had an alright weekend. Friday I attended a talk at CFI promoting the book How To Become A Really Good Pain In The Ass , Saturday I got my teeth cleaned in the morning, napped, then met up with Reg and Olga and had ourselves a drinky-drinky night at Marben, concluding with some Swatow. Sunday I rode over to the AGO, did some sketching and exploring there, and checked out two street festivals (the Chinese one on Spadina, then the Cabbagetown one on Parliament). That evening Loopy and I discussed plans for our next project -- a podcast ! Tomorrow I get the Mee-Mees neutered and spayed, which, on top of being a horrendous expense, also saddens me in that I am depriving them of their chance at immortality (admittedly, a highly incestuous one). I guess they are bu...

Well yeah. I've been putting off what to do with hwan.com and .. uh.. life just happens, y'know? TAM 9 was great, so much STUFF, most of it having since dribbled away, the walls my mind not being what they once were. Exciting but also, well, it made me miss going on vacation with a partner. Just a tiny bit; I was pretty busy most of the time. I was able to get a night of poker in, which netted about $260, just enough to pay off the hotel. Of course, I also bought lots of books and the like, and the trip overall, if you include airfare and the conference fee, put a sizable dent in my funds. Speaking of expenditures, I still have my kittens, though they are rapidly morphing into cats. My range of opinions on the little rascals ranges from homicide, to resignation, to adoration. I make it sound a lot worse than it really is... or perhaps I've come to convince myself of this? No but seriously, I don't see the point of cats! I once, long, long ago, considered myself a ...

You might be happy to hear that my recent colonoscopy results were very good -- my specialist described my insides as looking like a normal person's, and that I "should keep doing whatever I'm doing." Heartening news, from a health and colitis perspective. Diet and exercise? Or just keeping on my medication (150 mg of azathioprine a day)? I avoided heavy drinking last year, so perhaps that helped too. I guess I'm also allowing myself to believe that my colitis isn't going to bother me for some time; that would be sweet. But yeah, I'd forgotten what an ordeal the preparation for the procedure was -- drinking that vile, sickly sweet liquid every 10 minutes. Ugh, I get queasy just thinking about it. Sure, there's a certain satisfaction in cleaning out one's insides but that's tempered with light-headedness, weakness and hunger. And the flavor of that wretched stuff! "Vanilla pineapple." Good news, and yet I remain dim and uninspired, dow...

They say writing about things that one is grateful for improves one's mood , so, I guess I'll give that a try. I am happy that I get along swell with both my parents and my sister, which is funny because growing up my mom was definitely the head-matron of the house, and we, her subjects, suffered greatly from time to time. My job, while it certainly has its annoyances, does allow me to live relatively well, and for that I'm thankful. Oh, I should definitely mention how awesome it is to be healthy and able to eat and drink as I see fit, yes that is a major major plus. God what a difference modern medicine has made in my life! I'm also thankful for still having a mind, even when it doesn't always remember things. I guess that's a different way of saying I'm just glad to be ALIVE . I should mention that I added a simple CAPTCHA to the comment form, as hwan.com was getting bombarded by some pretty annoying comment spam. I will elevate the difficulty of ...

I've lost my blogging mind. It's funny when I think about it -- I'd started hwan.com as a way to write down my thoughts, to share them easily and to avoid having to repeat myself. But it seems time has stretched before me and I've less inclination to be creative, to have a voice or an outlet, like a media blackhole from which nothing escapes. I consume and nothing comes out, my opinion dampened by lack of vitality, deep in an emotional limbo, unable to peer beyond the edge. I did however have a good time with friends Friday night at The Ossington . Drinks, snacks, Total Recall, colorful attire, people-watching. That is something. Those sentences were written over a month ago, speaking of losing the blogging mind. It's not so much the blogging aspect but rather it feels like my mind, my focus has closed to such a narrow scope, a thin pencil beam that has but the barest of notions of what lays to the side. Perhaps when I am old I will agree that I've lived...

I guess Christmas wasn't that bad. I did however suffer from a most dreadful bout of the flu, or something that I thought might be the flu -- soreness, an extreme lack of energy, dizziness, chills, a runny nose. I was out for a good four days, four days of misery and woe, physically and emotionally draining. And while the worst is over, I find that my emotions are still somewhat subdued. Indeed it's hard for me to find much joy in anything, anymore. My mind continues to turn over the events of the past year, of words said and left unsaid. I remember being unhappy and yet.... and yet I yearn to return, unwisely and beyond counsel. While ill I caught up on a few serials, namely The Office. I also started watching Justice League , mostly on a whim, and am very much enjoying it, though I admit that much of that enjoyment comes from guffawing and pointing out all the logical flaws and plot inconsistencies. Even so, more than a handful of the episodes have brought tears to my wi...

Well, it's been over a week since my Vipassana experience . Adequate time to analyze my state of mind and mood. Simply, I only feel slightly different. See, I've been, of late before the retreat, constantly trying to calm my temper down which flares frequently at work. Not because of the work itself (not lately anyway, now that I have a pretty good grip on what I'm doing) but rather due to the after hour gaming sessions, usually xbox gaming and StarCraft . Not in a terribly serious way, but enough that afterwards I had to pause and ruefully reflect on how I felt. And it happened again today! Oh dear. So, perhaps thinking 10 days of meditation would help is a bit much. But again, am I different? I think yes, very slightly so. My perspective is clearer, I think. I am more inclined to believe the meditation did some good, which is practically the same as it being true, no? I'm afraid I haven't been keeping up with the mediation itself. I did fix my egg...

For once I have some plans for the weekend. Tomorrow I'll be helping a friend celebrate their birthday, Saturday will be Nuit Blanche and Sunday I'm going to try to catch Ryan North in Queen's Park for The Word On The Street . Will all go well? Or will I find something, yet again, to complain about, perhaps one of those typical Hwan.com sour moods wherein I wallow in a pit of my own self-pity and despair ? Stay tuned!