a new routine, no vacation

-
Hwan shooting a bow and arrow.
I see only the mistakes
Yeah, I guess I really like archery. From what I've tried it's rather a lot like golf in that one's form, at least in the beginning, is a lot more important than hitting the target. Consistency over accuracy. I got my first real taste a couple weekends ago, when I drove out to Kitchener to celebrate Andrea's birthday with her and her crew. If I find the time I can see myself taking this up, I really do.

My time since my last entry is mostly taken up with karate and FutureLearn. Gosh I just really do enjoy those on-line classes. I suppose I've been up to other stuff too -- installed and put a few hours into Heroes of the Storm, the new Blizzard online RTS arena game. Yeah, I guess some things never change.

I suppose you're wondering how work is, and the answer is that it's complicated. I still feel at times lost, my routine for the past ten years thrown out of whack, swimming upstream against a current of training, administration, compliance, security procedures.. it's all a bit much, really.

And I still need to think about what I want to do with my vacation time! I have four weeks for 2015, and enough coin to do pretty much whatever. Travel would be nice, sure, but.. is a vacation what I really want? I mean, should I not throw myself into some venture that can lead toward the betterment of my fellow man? And I don't mean some symptom-scratching charity work, although sure, that is something. Or is to aim so high folly? My life is shortening itself all the more, and I stand here, still and unsure -- I would like to leave the place better than when I arrived.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

fifty is the number

-
I turned fifty last month. We had a small party with old faces, lots of laughs, and, at least for me, a reminder of the life I had before the pandemic, before having a kid, before my colon surgery . That is to say, a good time, and I hope to have many more like it. I do feel older, in practical, daily ways. For one thing my eyes have gotten much worse over the past year, so bad that I find myself looking over my glasses to look at my phone. My skin is just ravaged by this dry winter air, well beyond anything I'd ever experienced. A lifetime of neglect and sun-exposure has finally caught up to me. While I'm not exactly getting heavy I have noticed a softness building up around my torso. So over the past few months I've taken to doing modified burpees as my daily exercise and have been pretty happy with the results. I do them in small bursts, HIIT-style, and that seems about the pace I can afford, both on a time and energy level. I do try to play video games but I definitely ...
Read more

Dying, up close

-
In media people are portrayed as alert and cognizant right up to the moment they pass, able to give a final message to a loved one. Not so with my father, and I feel his death is more typical of the experience — a disinterest in watching or reading anything, increasingly jumbled speech, a loss of any appetite or thirst, just long periods of sleep. Finally a day or more of near-constant sleep, his heart beating slower and slower, until we turned away for a moment and he was gone. Though really he had been dying in varying degrees for weeks, his bodily performance a far cry from even a couple months before. It’s been over a month since the funeral  but the events leading up to it are still fresh in my mind, a history where my dad still lives, still has advice for me, still has smiles for his friends and family. My grief comes and goes, gradually trending to a melancholy, a deep sigh in my day. In truth I have been grieving these past few years as signs of my father’s end would appear...
Read more

a return to the mood

-
Image
And yet life goes on. In June we had a short visit to Montreal, packing in the usual sights and flavours, tempered by the heat and our own waning energy levels. We took great advantage of the hotel's pool, swimming a joy I never tire of, encouraging Sora to get more comfortable in the water. I didn't have much opportunity to pick out my old haunts but I could see that the city has grown since my days there, shimmering halcyon days full of youth and opportunity. Indeed every moment on the streets would bring waves of memories, of friends faded or forgotten, my head lost and spinning and trying to breathe it all in again. Obviously very different now but seeing it anew through Sora's eyes gave some fresh pleasure. We made the trip to the recently updated Biosphere, probably the highlight of the trip, the biomes living up to their names. My heart shatters at the thought of our poor Ontario Science Centre being stripped of its wares, each precious exhibit cast out, the unique, ...
Read more