hwan.com

Hola! Or, perhaps an "aloha" would be more accurate? I am leaving for Maui in a couple hours, having decided to join Jenning's marital festivities after all. A rash decision, made in a fit of desperation, and one that certainly bites on a financial level. It's amusing that even at my age I still have problems sleeping, with the foolish fear of missing the flight. Well, I did miss one major flight, back in Denmark, but that was a simple mistake of dates on my part. Anyway, yeah, Hawaii. I keep thinking of how this might be the last few days of my life -- fall into a volcano, or eaten by a shark, etc. It was a nice life, though I am sorry to leave so many days half-lived. More sorry to those I was a dastardly bastard to, a cowardly scoundrel. I don't know that I deserve anything like forgiveness, but I certainly feel that I am wiser now, eyes more open to my actions. Should I happen to make it, I'll be back by the 29th. No plans for New Years. Not that I rea...

I had considered applying to be a writer for blogTO.com , and it was the process of drafting up an application that I decided that I'd be much happier bringing hwan.com back to life. And so here it is, fresh and clean and much of the weight gone! Fret not, I do plan on bringing those entries back, perhaps when I've the time over the Christmas break. Let's see.. back on the 11th I went to see Unter Kontrolle (2011) , an amazingly detailed documentary on Germany's declining nuclear power plants. I was thrilled to get some rare views into how the plants worked, both as a facility and a business. It was followed up by a brief panel discussion, which to my amusement featured some rather anti-nuclear rallying. I was glad to see that the director himself seemed to not pass any judgment on the technology, or those who saw it as a safe and reasonable energy source. On the 12th I went to a large potluck turkey dinner with Andrea's and Marc's friends. I b...

  Back on the 4th of November Loopy and I went to a Penn and Teller show at Casinorama, which is located just outside of Orillia. The drive up was a bittersweet one, for I'd been up Highway 400 and 11 many times with Monica on one of our trips to her cottage in Bala. Hmm. In any case, the show was great, quite the joy. Any perceived misses were overshadowed by the awesomeness of the hits.  I also lost some money at poker and ate some shitty casino food, but that is neither here nor there; it was a fun Friday. The Saturday following I met up with Loopy again and we hung out at Ryan's place, who is an immaculate host and so much fun was had there too. The preceding dinner at Shoeless Joe's was adequate, though I really must stop subjecting myself to such lazy and uncaring eateries.  I'm uncertain about going again but I thought I'd mention that I went to a Toronto Youth Food Policy Council meeting. I was invited by my friend Andrea, and it's more her thing...

Yiss, yiss, it is I, Hwan. In a new form, newly formed. I've decided to do away with my personal server and host hwan.com on blogspot.com. Things are such that it seems silly to build and maintain everything myself; it was fun for a while, but it's painfully obvious that I simply have neither the time nor inclination to keep it up. So, here we are. And here I hope to update far more frequently. I've begun to feel that my passage through this world will leave no mark, no legacy, other than perhaps this journal, this written account of my take on things, this tiny bubble in a much larger sea. But.. there is still a little marrow left in this bone I've been given. In any case, I'll now recount some of the things I've done since I last wrote, way back on October 9th. I spent much of October watching Peep Show  in its entirety, 7 seasons of hilarious British comedy. It was a feat made easy due to its availability on YouTube and a digestible 20 minute playtime. Th...

Ok, here's me trying to keep the journal/blog/webjo thing going... it ain't easy! There aren't enough hours for all I want to do, or all I want to read, or all the turns in Dungeon Raid I need to make.... anyway, I had an alright weekend. Friday I attended a talk at CFI promoting the book How To Become A Really Good Pain In The Ass , Saturday I got my teeth cleaned in the morning, napped, then met up with Reg and Olga and had ourselves a drinky-drinky night at Marben, concluding with some Swatow. Sunday I rode over to the AGO, did some sketching and exploring there, and checked out two street festivals (the Chinese one on Spadina, then the Cabbagetown one on Parliament). That evening Loopy and I discussed plans for our next project -- a podcast ! Tomorrow I get the Mee-Mees neutered and spayed, which, on top of being a horrendous expense, also saddens me in that I am depriving them of their chance at immortality (admittedly, a highly incestuous one). I guess they are bu...

Well yeah. I've been putting off what to do with hwan.com and .. uh.. life just happens, y'know? TAM 9 was great, so much STUFF, most of it having since dribbled away, the walls my mind not being what they once were. Exciting but also, well, it made me miss going on vacation with a partner. Just a tiny bit; I was pretty busy most of the time. I was able to get a night of poker in, which netted about $260, just enough to pay off the hotel. Of course, I also bought lots of books and the like, and the trip overall, if you include airfare and the conference fee, put a sizable dent in my funds. Speaking of expenditures, I still have my kittens, though they are rapidly morphing into cats. My range of opinions on the little rascals ranges from homicide, to resignation, to adoration. I make it sound a lot worse than it really is... or perhaps I've come to convince myself of this? No but seriously, I don't see the point of cats! I once, long, long ago, considered myself a ...

I adopted a couple of kittens (referred to colloquially, and collectively, as "the meemees", for the sound they make) -- my sister found a homeless, pregnant cat some months ago and the babies needed a home, and, well, it was offered and I, after much contemplation and self-debate, accepted a boy and girl into my kitten-unready home. I am so far likening the experience to adopting two aliens with little concept of language or bathroom manners, irregular hours and a fascination for anything new. Ah, they are not quite that bad but certainly keep me on the fence of whether or not to keep them. Certainly they have their moments of intense cuteness. A couple weeks ago I was at a dinner with Girl and Dangerman! I hadn't seen those two since last year and little Magnus is quickly becoming a little boy. It was really nice to have the gang together like that, it quite brought the smile to my face -- hardly anyone has changed, I find, though when I see myself in the mirror I w...

Woo, it is getting warm out there! Summer doesn't start for another 3 weeks but they're already forecasting 32 degree weather for tomorrow, yowza! Let's see what's been going on... Well, the day on which I last wrote , I ended up going to a Blue Jays game with Stephen and Simone , who were nice enough to provide me with an extra ticket. It was a very fast game, maybe 2.5 hours? The seats were great, in any case -- fourth row, right behind first base. A fun escape, but I could only watch maybe a game or two a year really -- my interest in baseball has fallen way down with age. That was Thursday, and on Friday I went to Bar Wellington to attend a co-worker's birthday gathering. Some drinks and lots of TVO and public television talk. Ah, Force Five , so deeply ingrained in my childhood memories! I love all those shows so much, dearly so. Saturday was the beginning of the long weekend, and I, well, I had a date during the day. More than that I shan't speak of here...

Well hello there. Shall I tell you how I've been? Better, better. The weather, as always, helps, and though it is wet it is also warm, a richness of life. Got my green belt , yay. An exhausting test, and one can see me growing older and more haggard in each photo as I find my second, third and umpteenth wind. A good day, and nice to have some familiar faces show up. It looks like I may keep up with my karate this year, who knows. Work, well, work is work, getting stuff done but hardly feel like talking about any of it. Did you know that I've been there for nearly SIX years ? Boggles the mind, it does. No real news, in any case. Eating well, to be sure. I've been living at my condo for over a year and have only visited the St. Lawrence Market a handful of times. What a world of food I've been missing! This could be my new weekly thing. Breads, vegetables, cheeses, meats... joy! Oh hey we had that federal election, didn't we? And what rot it was! Egads I get sic...

How have I been? Well and not well. Well enough. Yesterday some friends and I attended UFC 129 , in Toronto. Entertaining! Quite a few knockouts, lots of action, with only the title card (GSP vs Jake Shields) being a bit of a confusing disappointment. GSP won, but not in a glorious or interesting fashion. And Jake Shields seemed a bit too shy for someone challenging for a title. Fifty-five thousand people smushed into the SkyDome/Rogers Centre, and our seats, being of the 500-level variety, allowed us to take them all in. Ah, the drunken UFC fan was out in full force that day! Before the event, we had a mediocre Korean BBQ experience at the Korean Grill House near Yonge and Gerrard. Friday I went and saw Grinders with Loopy, a HotDocs documentary at The Isabel Bader Theatre. I knew that some people used poker as a source of income, but I'd no idea of the underground poker culture, or its place in Toronto! Geez I guess I hardly know this city at all. The film was preceded by a ve...

You might be happy to hear that my recent colonoscopy results were very good -- my specialist described my insides as looking like a normal person's, and that I "should keep doing whatever I'm doing." Heartening news, from a health and colitis perspective. Diet and exercise? Or just keeping on my medication (150 mg of azathioprine a day)? I avoided heavy drinking last year, so perhaps that helped too. I guess I'm also allowing myself to believe that my colitis isn't going to bother me for some time; that would be sweet. But yeah, I'd forgotten what an ordeal the preparation for the procedure was -- drinking that vile, sickly sweet liquid every 10 minutes. Ugh, I get queasy just thinking about it. Sure, there's a certain satisfaction in cleaning out one's insides but that's tempered with light-headedness, weakness and hunger. And the flavor of that wretched stuff! "Vanilla pineapple." Good news, and yet I remain dim and uninspired, dow...

NECSSCon has come and gone, leaving me exhausted and my mind overflowing with ideas and thoughts. Loopy and I took the bus from Toronto, a decidedly arduous 12 hour journey, dealing with crazy ladies, uncomfortable seats, constant interruptions to any attempt to sleep. Crossing the border also took an inordinate amount of time, there being several notable characters on the bus. I should clarify that I did sleep, but it was not restful and it was with a frizzy mind did we arrive in Manhattan. Walk to the hotel (NYMA, in the heart of Koreatown), drop off our stuff as the room wasn't yet ready, walk in search of Saks 5th Avenue (perfume lady showing curious interest in NECSS), a meal at TGIF (lamentable), attempt to get into the Jimmy Fallon audience (no such luck -- tickets are generally gone by noon), back to the hotel for unpacking and an afternoon nap. Wake up, shower and then to the first drinking event at Dewey's Flatiron, where I burnt my mouth horribly on an otherwise del...

I dreamt that a group of women wanted to buy my parent's house, and that a real estate agent showed them around. There were holes in the floor and other problems but we were kicked out anyway. The saddest part is that that house is now gone, no longer holding the title of "home" for me. Jefferson is where my parents are now, or the northern reaches of Richmond Hill, a new start reminiscent of our first coming to York Region -- a fresh home, dusty roads, few amenities within walking distance. Do I have any right to miss the house I grew up in, having flown from that roost? A little, maybe just a little. And how am I, you may ask. Time does fly by with age, as we grip the grains tightly they spill even out with greater force. My, uh, lamentations are still a ways from subsiding, but I do occasionally find something to take my mind off them, my troubles of the heart. LiveGreen volunteering is still going strong -- did my first Environment Day this past Saturday -- we...

They say writing about things that one is grateful for improves one's mood , so, I guess I'll give that a try. I am happy that I get along swell with both my parents and my sister, which is funny because growing up my mom was definitely the head-matron of the house, and we, her subjects, suffered greatly from time to time. My job, while it certainly has its annoyances, does allow me to live relatively well, and for that I'm thankful. Oh, I should definitely mention how awesome it is to be healthy and able to eat and drink as I see fit, yes that is a major major plus. God what a difference modern medicine has made in my life! I'm also thankful for still having a mind, even when it doesn't always remember things. I guess that's a different way of saying I'm just glad to be ALIVE . I should mention that I added a simple CAPTCHA to the comment form, as hwan.com was getting bombarded by some pretty annoying comment spam. I will elevate the difficulty of ...

I've lost my blogging mind. It's funny when I think about it -- I'd started hwan.com as a way to write down my thoughts, to share them easily and to avoid having to repeat myself. But it seems time has stretched before me and I've less inclination to be creative, to have a voice or an outlet, like a media blackhole from which nothing escapes. I consume and nothing comes out, my opinion dampened by lack of vitality, deep in an emotional limbo, unable to peer beyond the edge. I did however have a good time with friends Friday night at The Ossington . Drinks, snacks, Total Recall, colorful attire, people-watching. That is something. Those sentences were written over a month ago, speaking of losing the blogging mind. It's not so much the blogging aspect but rather it feels like my mind, my focus has closed to such a narrow scope, a thin pencil beam that has but the barest of notions of what lays to the side. Perhaps when I am old I will agree that I've lived...