hwan.com

Holy cow you mean to say that I haven't updated hwan.com in 11 days? Yikes. That is.. well, I am sorry. Not that sorry, but surprised certainly. Actually, I'm here to write about windows, er, Windows. In particular, reordering of items in the Start menu. For the longest time I would, when tidying up my Start programs, press really hard on the mouse button, sometimes getting the item to drag and sometimes not, not really knowing why it would or wouldn't work. Irrational I know, but it just felt that doing so would help. I finally figured it out just now -- if you drag a folder, you have to wait for Windows to expand it. Otherwise, the expand animation unsets the click and doesn't recognize that you are attempting a drag action. THIS IS STUPID!!! Oh WOW that bugs me ever so much. How did this possibly get past user testing? How is it that this has been this way since.. since dragging of expandable Start Menu items was allowed? Windows Explorer certainly doesn't act ...

" Every time I have to remove my shoes at an airport it would be nice if there were a picture of Bush nearby to throw them at. " -- twoleftfeet Been watching and playing a lot of StarCraft lately. Yes you heard right. Watching videos on GOM TV has really opened up my mind to the complexities and intricate nature of the game. Well, of course it helps that the commentary is in English and reasonably entertaining in of itself. At work too the spirit of RTS is alive and well, with many people working to improve their skills. Certainly passions also run high, and can bring out the worst in us. Oh, how the tempers do flare! What is it about creating an army and watching it die that frustrates one so? And why do we keep playing when it happens? Such a struggle! I find the Canada Revenue Agency Charity site helpful in choosing where to send my donations. I'm thinking that I can judge them by how much of their revenue was spent on advertising. For example, the Canadian Wild...

Chemicals! They surround us and penetrate us. They bind the galaxy together. And once in a while I find out that it's the ones in my toothpaste that have been responsible for that strange film I sometimes find in my mouth. At least, I'm fairly certain that sodium laureth sulfate (SLES) is responsible for that. The wiki article also talks about it being responsible for increasing the frequency of canker sores , which as you know I love to hate. I've also noticed that my shampoo and dishwash soap contain SLS/SLES. Surrounds us indeed. The other chemical? His popular consumer form is Tylenol and the danger he poses is to the liver. More to the point, apparently alcohol and Acetaminophen work together as a double whammy. News to me, who has been prescribing tylenol and water after a night of heavy drinking. Yeah, oh my poor, poor liver. But no more! No, I've turned from this potentially harmful duo. Well, the Tylenol half anyway. Finally on my list of things to ment...

'ello 'ello! Yup, December. Hey, I finished reading The Road, the Cormac McCarthy book. Pretty good! I found it reminded me of I Am Legend for that tension from having a survivalist dialog. It's kind of a far reaching comparison I suppose. Certainly I can compare it with Fallout 3 , a very obvious contrast there. I find myself quite enjoying McCarthy's books, and will likely seek out his other work. I must say that I am excited to see how it will translate to the big screen, and should curb my enthusiasm as it is not Coen-directed. Started watching Summer Heights High , an Australian mockumentary centered around three characters in a high school. The twist is that all three people are played by Chris Lilley and it is down right eerie how good he is at it. Surreal. Oh, I suppose one could compare it to The Office (the UK one) since it also has that authentic documentary feel. You can find some clips on YouTube to get a taste of it. I've been trying to go to b...

Silly times, my friends. Drinking, drinking, drunk. Tonight more of the like for the office Christmas party, this year at Tappo Restaurant out in the Distillery district. Yesterday was the Charlotte room, Wednesday was Bar Wellington. Oh my sides! In the latter parts of the evening I was trying to convince my friend to drink some water, him being in the state he was, by applying various slogans to make water more appealing. "Water, It's In You To Give", "Water, Nature's Fruit-juice", "Water, The Sweat of the Earth". Actually, the bartender came up with the brilliant "Water, Turn It On" and the memorable "Water, Put It In Your Mouth". Indeed. I floated in out and out consciousness, trying to sleep but my mind all a-buzz. I thought about the upcoming StarCraft 2 and how, if at all, they plan to improve the game. I mean, aside from the graphics. A huge gripe of mine with the original (bless it's well-balanced hear...

SCATTERGORIES... it's harder than it looks! Hit Forward, erase my answers, enter yours, send it on to 10 people including the one that sent this to you. Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things.. nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question. WHAT IS YOUR NAME: Hwan BOY NAME: Hortense? Harry 4 LETTER WORD: hide GIRL NAME: Hilary OCCUPATION: Horse-whisperer. Hairdresser? Hoser? Haberdasher! A COLOUR: Hazel (this one took me 5 minutes) SOMETHING YOU WEAR: Hat. headpiece. BEVERAGE: Heineken? FOOD: Hamburger SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: Handle? A PLACE: Himalayas (there be my Sherpa playas). REASON FOR BEING LATE: Hissyfit. SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: HOT DAMN. Or How the heck? Or simply Hell.

Blast this weather! How is it that it always manages to ruin my complexion, and thus my mood, and hence my mind? Cannot think, cannot feel. Aching, itching. Mornings are still a struggle, unrested, unready. This morning was more tedious than usual as there was some kind of streetcar stoppage at the corner of Queen and Roncesvalles. Eventually a bus came by to pick us up, but it unfortunately struck (or nearly struck) an old woman crossing the street at Dufferin and King. Yes it was nutty, but I think she was more shaken up than physically injured if indeed there was contact as I didn't witness it directly. Not really watching much these days. I did see an old French film on the weekend, The Wages of Fear (1953) a black and white thriller. It takes a while to get going but once it does WHOO it's a wild ride. I saw the Criterion Collection version and wasn't happy with the translation used -- there were times when even I, with my faltering French, could tell tha...

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present Exhibit A: QWOP . Proof that Hwan does not need a fancy schmancy computer in order to be amused and entertained for hours on end. No, he only needs a game with simple mechanics and a steep learning curve. HDR , fillrates? Pfeh, a Jedi craves not these things! Seriously though, that QWOP game is hella fun. I guess it's the combination of the hilarious animation and the thrill of actually getting the dude to run, once you figure out the control scheme. Getting the beginning movements correct is crucial, as this initial forward momentum is what seeds the rest. Then you need to get into a rhythm, adjusting it for missteps and other randomness, incrementally increasing the size of your strides to match your speed. After a while you start to naturally press the right keys, without even thinking about which finger is pressing what key when. Oh, it's definitely tough in the beginning oh my yes. Montreal is where I went this past w...

Slight flu/cold right now. Not using that as an excuse for anything, but just letting you know that I'm not feeling 100%... so perhaps my writing is not 100%. Not that that's ever stopped me before. Oh yeah, feeling the heat of sickness now urgkkkk. Been playing more Left 4 Dead , having now gone through all four missions (or movies). I can see the good (graphics, zombie-animatronics) and bad things (same maps, few items and weapons) about the game, but it will be the multiplayer experience that makes or breaks it as a lasting thing. So far, I think the multiplayer can be very much likened to Counter-strike in that the players play on one of two teams whose aim is to kill the other. The twist is that the mission of the protagonists (the humans) is to reach the other side of the map alive. Oh, and that the antagonists (the infected) respawn. Fallout 3 is still on my games radar. I came across this excellent review of it: Fallout 3 review [nma-fallout.com] which, fo...

With the new computer I've also done a bit of re-arranging of my apartment, getting things done that I've been putting off for months. Funny, I wrote that sentence and can't for the life of me remember where I was going with it. Sure, sometimes there are things I recall that I wish I wouldn't. I suppose any thoughts on controlling these are futile. Has anything happened? No. My fridge was fixed, but not until most of the food inside transformed into non-food material. I bought the pre-release of Left 4 Dead which I have to say looks fantastic and plays even more so. I tend to rave in a meaningless manner about games I really think are neat, but believe you me, Left 4 Dead is impressive. My only grief is that there's not much to it -- run, shoot, survive. But it's so very well done, with shockingly good zombie animation. Oh man, when a horde of those suckers come running at you, it's the thrill of seeing one's first fast zombie all over again...

I had actually planned to spend a month or two watching (or trying to watch) a movie a day, but of course like most things I think might be fun to try, it never happened. Still, I did make some time on the weekend to watch The Deer Hunter. I liked it. I read that Christopher Walken went on a diet of rice, bananas and water to get as pale as he did. I did find the first act somewhat long to sit through, but then I can be impatient with weddings if I can't take part in the festivities. I suppose you could call The Deer Hunter a war movie, but in three acts it shows the before, the during, and the after, and manages to transform the viewer as even we witness the characters transform, hollowed out by the trial of war. I found myself worrying about life and death all over again, that old bonnet of going away, the long goodbye to nowhere and nothing and life is but a temporary illusion and when I go it is gone. Yes, I have been playing some more Fallout 3, but haven't these p...

Was the new machine worth the $2000+? I.. well possibly yes! I've never been able to say "I have a top-of-the-line machine" and by golly, now I can. It is a joy to be able to move those detail sliders all the way to MAX and enjoy pure processor goodness. So.. games! My first acquisition was Far Cry 2, that sexy beast straight from Montreal! Graphically, yes, dripping sweaty incredible detail yadda yadda. The original Far Cry (2004) placed the player on a series of islands but which were otherwise quite open for exploration. You could go anywhere and spend lots of time just creeping around the place. Much of that is gone now, with areas cut off from each other by impassable hills and many buildings requiring an extra load to enter and exit. I mean, yes technically you can go anywhere you want but it feels a lot less open. Perhaps it's because the missions keep you to populated areas and so I haven't given much time to just wandering around. A huge di...

I injured my wrist again. Well, this time the left instead of the right, but it hurts just as much. Sparring it was that did it. Ok, YES I should've break-falled, but I didn't -- I was too busy worrying about smashing into the mirror somewhere behind me. Oh, and at the time my leg was held by my rushing opponent. Is this really news? For me, it's a pain certainly, and makes riding my bicycle unpleasant. I have to be careful handling cups and dishes, as I have no gripping strength. Oh, and I can't do pushups. I'm not sure which is better, keeping my wrist straight all the time and not using it or to exercise it and use it normally. I would think the former would result in faster healing, but the latter lets me maintain its strength. The new computer is almost ready! Just have to install all my primary apps and chat and copy over files and program data and... well, ok, not so ready ready as to replace my current system, but it's at least getting on it...

It's that time of the year again, time to spend spend spend! I've already spent lots on myself (in the form of a new computer), but now I shift my aim to charities. Namely, I ask you, what's a good charity? Last year I gave to the Daily Bread Food Bank (and plan to again this year), and in the past I've given to hospitals and my university, but I suspect that I might be missing some real obvious, needful organizations. It's kind of hard to judge these things via the internet. I'm wary of giving to mega-corps like the Red Cross, Salvation Army, and United Way. Perhaps someone can point out some good options? Hmm, no, I'm not using my new machine yet -- I still have to install an OS on it. The point of all this? GAMES. I also got a BluRay player, but it was kind of an impulse buy which I vaguely regret since my new monitor can only go 1680x1050, somewhat less than 1920x1080. I really let my knowledge of these things slip behind. I kind of turned a...

Apparently you're not supposed to sit on your iPhone for long periods of time because if you do the Home button stops working. Thankfully, you can kind of squeeze it back into shape. Just a few random thoughts before I get to today's lunch at the Wellington. Uhm, I'm going to look into what it takes to develop apps for the iPhone because I hate HATE the thought of paying for these garbage apps that you can't even try before buying. Plus, I am of the "software should be free" mindset. However, it looks like I need to first get OS X before I can use the SDK, but Leopard isn't free? I suppose $130 is not much. AND I will (hopefully) have a new system up and running, a shiny, "luxurious" (as the Canada Computers tech described it) system with all the latest dongles and cards and cogs. In time for the pre-Christmas load of new releases. Saturday I helped a friend smash up the main floor of his house, dust and debris and plaster, dressed up ...

Oh man when did Canada become so very Conservative? I mean really, I am so out of touch with the political pulse of this country. Shocked, shocked! And more than a little upset. Who are these people? I don't think I know them. Part of my surprise is due to the fact that my riding (Parkdale/High Park) voted Liberal. Disappointed, really. I sincerely believed that Peggy Nash would win safely. How.. how... how did this come about? Oh Canada, I thought I knew you well and here you go, breaking my heart. You've spoken your mind, and your words are sheering hot death.

Much of my guilt of having and using an iPhone has dissipated by now, I think. I mean, I don't feel great about it, but there is certainly a pleasure in using it. A new toy, sure. Obviously not perfect. One of my top griefs is its lack of iPod interface -- no dial for skipping or advancing or adjusting the volume without having to fish the thing out of one's pocket and look at it. The ringtones are customizable, but the other sounds (such as SMSes arriving) are not. The battery life is not very good. The App Store is polluted with garbage, spam applications that are just a waste of everyone's time. I believe in the freedom of choice, sure, but I'd like to not have to weed the wheat from the chaff. I am really upset that I can't upload some files from my computer at home and some from another -- it can only accept files from ONE machine at a time. If I try to put some from another machine on, it has to first erase everything already on it. Blurgh! Also, ...

Nuit Blanche this year was just.. well, it was just too busy. WAY too busy -- drunken, riot-minded swarms of entertainment-starved streetlings, bustling here and there, yammering away bubbly nothings. It was more than a little upsetting when I think about their wanton destruction of art and latent disregard for the works. But mostly, just too too many people every which way. Make the TTC free for the night! Close the streets! Bah... next year I won't start until after 3 AM. iPhone? Yes, I got one. Guilty? Very much feeling so. Paying more for a toy, a shiny technophilic toy, money going from me to them, voting finanically in the wrong way. And ringtones! Why can I not simply make my songs ringtones! Damn you APPLE, will you not free us from these scalywags who would have me pay for the air I breath and the sounds I hear? It's not all bad, of course. The mapping and GPS-like ability is neat. Visual voicemail is dreamy. Email and SMS in my hand is.. handy? ...

I went to a Rogers store last week to find out what it would take to get an iPhone. Yes, I've been tempted by the fruit of others. It's funny, really -- I've always wanted a phone-PDA-camera-mp3 player, but when the iPhone, a seemingly ultimate all-in-one came out, I was STILL not ready to commit to it. Other than that, nothing is really prompting me to upgrade except that the $30/6 GB/month offer ends September 30th. Anyway, so I went to the store and apparently I have to pay a penalty above the regular price! What rot was that, I wondered? It seems that if you spend less than some number (I'm guessing $30) a month, then you fall into a "beggar's tier" (my term), in which you're not considered a very good customer and thus must pay extra to upgrade your hardware! I ranted to the Rogers store rep about this, who agreed that it was a bit draconian (I would add capricious and arbitrary) and that I might be able talk to Rogers sales to get them to give me...

Just a quick update from work. Weekend, frustrating because of the Gardiner closure, made worse by the lack of parking in the downtown area and then just nigh unbearable by that damn The Score closing the intersection of King and Spadina. Yargh, an unhappy, a most unhappy camper. I'm going to try to write this entry without going back and editing/censoring myself, so excuse the spelling and such. Oooh, I almost deleted what I just said because it was so boring. Anyway... Saturday, instead of going to a dental appointment and getting my car looked at and dropping into Future Shop to see if XBox 360's were on sale, I played Team Fortress 2! Like, all day. And I have been playing pretty much nearly every hour since then, at home. Perhaps it's better that I stay at work, where the temptation to play games is not nearly so high. Oh right, I cut my hair the other day. Twenty-three centimeters, according to the salon. I was tempted to keep it, perhaps use it as a brush or the lik...

Two Korean films. First, I mistakenly saw Seven Days . I say mistakenly because I do not know why I got it -- I'm not a fan of grisly murder mysteries (aside from perhaps the fantastic Memories of Murder ). I guess I figured that because it was so popular it might be worth watching. It actually builds up well enough, but when you start to realize what's going on and who's behind what, well, it simply doesn't meet expectations. Speaking of expectations, how about that The Good, The Bad, the Weird ? The action scenes? Woo-eee, man they are smoking! But what was all that junk in the middle? And by junk I do mean all those pointless plot bits. Seriously, we GET IT -- there's a treasure and everyone wants the map! It would've been nicer if the backstory was more coherent/relevant, but to have all that unnecessary running around was a bit much. And the opium house? What was all that about? Anyway, some great action (the opening 30 minutes or so pretty much...

I have, thanks to the generosity of a co-worker and friend, been able to see no less than four TIFF films thus far. Ghost Town , the new Ricky Gervais romantic comedy of a jerk who can see ghosts, a kind of Sixth Sense, only replace the scary bits and whispering with Gervais' signature awkwardness. He was actually at the showing (no pictures, sorry), but he didn't speak. Also there was the director, an editor, as well as Kinnear and Kristen Wiig, who was wearing this great electric blue dress with lacy black stockings. Oh, the movie was mildly good. It's a romantic comedy, has a "feel-good" message. Detroit Metal City , a story of a country boy moving to the city in the hopes of becoming a "trendy" pop music star. Instead, he finds himself as the lead singer of a death metal band Detroit Metal City. Eh, it was fun and all but I often find with these Japanese films that for all their quirkiness there's an equal amount of lulls and missed joke...

While I love tabbed browsing, I simply cannot stand the default behavior of browsers that place a little Close button on the tab. What rot is that? Right, when I click a tab I don't want there to be a chance that I can hit this button and have the exact opposite of what I want to happen -- the tab I want to see is gone and closed, with no Undo other than to hunt for it in the History or from the page it was spawned. Who thought this was a good idea? Me, I remove those buttons (when the option is available) and use middle-click to close tabs. Feeling better today, but mouth dry and gross. Plans for weekend.. eh, nothing.

Sick with a strange flu-like malaise. I was up at 4 AM, my throat a channel of broken glass. Slept most of the day away. Am somewhat better now, but still out of sorts with grogginess. I did go for a bike ride, the weather being excellent for that. I went to KW to hang out with Growli this past long weekend. Played hours of Rainbow Six Vegas 2, which is a lot of fun for two people working cooperatively. I still find 1st-person shooters on consoles a claustrophobic experience, like driving a very slow vehicle. The storming of rooms and setting up zones was otherwise quite rewarding. We also went to Phil's Grandson on Sunday night, which I'm pretty sure is the very last time I ever go down there, that dank, sewer-like club. Ever foreboding, ever unrewarding. Oh hey, did you get a chance to try Google's new Chrome browser ? It's neat how they can just throw together a bunch of different engines and make something fairly decent. I would make it my primary br...

Well, it's been over a week since my Vipassana experience . Adequate time to analyze my state of mind and mood. Simply, I only feel slightly different. See, I've been, of late before the retreat, constantly trying to calm my temper down which flares frequently at work. Not because of the work itself (not lately anyway, now that I have a pretty good grip on what I'm doing) but rather due to the after hour gaming sessions, usually xbox gaming and StarCraft . Not in a terribly serious way, but enough that afterwards I had to pause and ruefully reflect on how I felt. And it happened again today! Oh dear. So, perhaps thinking 10 days of meditation would help is a bit much. But again, am I different? I think yes, very slightly so. My perspective is clearer, I think. I am more inclined to believe the meditation did some good, which is practically the same as it being true, no? I'm afraid I haven't been keeping up with the mediation itself. I did fix my egg...

Disclaimer: These are my thoughts and interpretations of what was taught during a 10-day Vipassana introductory course. I'll try to be accurate, but I'm doing this from memory so I apologize for any mistakes. I suggest the Vipassana Wikipedia entry as a starting point if you want a more neutral, matter of fact synopsis. Summary: Vipassana is a nonsectarian meditation technique, focusing on results and practicality. One should be able to immediately see improvements in one's ability to deal with situations, with an aim towards liberty and eventually enlightenment (in the Buddhist sense). I personally found the living conditions a daily strain on my nerves, which greatly hindered my enjoyment of the 10-day course. I am currently skeptical of the results and am withholding judgment on its efficacy. A) The Vipassana Course Day 1 -- Observing respiration: Instructions on sitting are not given, with only the suggestion that one keeps one's back straight and head high. A...

Here's the text of an email I wrote a friend regarding my Vipassana experience, a teaser of a much longer article I'm working on. it was the most grueling thing i'd ever done. i was pushed to the limits of my mental tolerance. it is not easy stuff to do. i don't think it has any particular agenda, but i didn't enjoy their "If you are doing Vipassana correctly, you'll want other people to join." philosophy. Otherwise, there doesn't seem to be anything suspicious or fishy about it. Most of the people, on the last day when we could talk, seemed to have loved the experience. i was mostly just glad to get out of there, but i admit that i was curious as to what effect it would have on my daily life. thus far, it's hard to say. i think i'm still recovering from the lack of sleep and food (i lost 8 lbs!), so i'm hesitant to gauge any differences in my emotions and reactions. it might be a lot less shocking if you are already in the habi...

Well, I'm back. Tired, mentally and physically. I'm not sure yet what effect 10 days of Vipassana meditation (100 hours total) has or will have on me. Right now I feel the drain of little sleep, little food and little exercise. In fact, I may just treat myself to some McDonald's! I have many thoughts and notes which I'll leak out over the next while. Right now I need real sustenance, to consume the flesh of an animal and feel ALIVE.

I find Seth Rogen funny. He may not have a lot of range but he's consistently amusing whenever I see him. In Pineapple Express he plays yet again the relatively straight but fun-loving and easy-going slightly chunky dude, this time teaming up with his old Freak and Geeks alumni, James Franco. Franco's a natural for that stoner role he's carved for himself, and in Pineapple Express he's just as endearing as ever. So, we've got this lovable pair who are funny whenever they're on screen (which is the most of the film), and the film itself has all the ingredients of being great -- the right atmosphere, the right plot hooks, and some likable, engaging characters. Unfortunately, the second half just unravels and gets out of hand and is silly and predictable and doesn't tie all the ends and lets you down as you watch it slip away, bemoaning the promises of something better. Like the drug, Pineapple Express is light and airy fun. I went to a black-belt seminar on ...

Just another six days until I leave for Barrie and Vipassana. I decided, perhaps rashly, that I would stop my coffee consumption today. I got through work well enough but my ride home was filled with unease and mild headaches. I seem to be paying quite a bit now, but that could be the orange Mr. Clean fumes as I am trying to tidy my place up before leaving. I also got rid of a rug that I suspect was responsible for the vast majority of the dust in my apartment. Whoo craigslist! Anyway! Six more days. I bought a couple cushions for meditating on, a travel alarm clock and some clothes (but I may get more). They say to bring mosquito repellent and a water bottle, which I think I'll get tomorrow from MEC. I do worry that I'll forget much of my Korean, and how much my body will atrophy without exercise. Oh gosh this was a bad idea. This journal entry, I mean. a) I don't have any news, and b) I am bushed. Time to shutdown.

Yes that's right -- I hate BOTH Bell and Rogers. Rogers, well, there are so many, many reasons to hate those guys, fumbling over themselves to snatch every penny they can shake out of you. But most recently my disgust has flared up with their iPhone offerings, a package so pricey, so draconian I wonder that they should have the gall. Yet that is not the worst of it -- the worst is that people who are already with Rogers have to buy out their old plan first and lose their old number. Oh jaded snipers and bombers with agendas, wherefore do thee not do away with these media tyrants? Please send your head-cutting psychopaths to do something useful with thine Bowie knives! Oh, and Bell? I just learned (although apparently it's been in place since January) that if you do not have an long distance plan, your LD calls are subject to an extra "LD network connection fee". WHAT THE HELL!!! Long distance calls are also charged by DISTANCE . Dudes, seriously, can we not do somet...

Pops and I went to Raq-n-Waq on Friday night (as The Charlotte Room was taken over by a party) and much to my disappointment the place had changed ownership! Also, the tables were in a sad state -- chipped pieces, tables squished together, broken triangles. End of an era. It seems the transition to The Charlotte Room is complete. Pity, that. I spent much of this evening trying to figure out how to transfer SMS text messages from my Sony Ericcson W200 to my computer. Of course, the packaged install that comes with the phone was useless bloatware -- 75 MB of drivers so that I can explore my phone slower than Window's default USB explorer? I think not. And of course, the uninstall blew up a torrent of error messages, complaining that it couldn't find files I didn't install, leaving my system nigh-useless until after two reboots. Thankfully, I finally found an excellent piece of freeware, MyPhoneExplorer . It makes backup and restore a joy. That life can be so kind! Satur...

So it seems that I am drunk and here I sit like a sad punk. Words I have or rather have not to describe my state of gridlock. Oh these rhymes they are so lame for they come from my very sloshed brain. Tequila it was that sour gold turned me up a velvet fold. More than this I will not say for tonight was not my day. Why is it that wherever I go there I am yet ne'er my goal? i plan to sleep in most joyous of joys to be under the sheets escaping morning noise soon I must end this most silly endeavor for my mental faculties are becoming less clever strange how imbibing can draw out my words normally my typing is nothing but burps wait no that's not right! that's not what I meant! it's just that i haven't any sense this moment bonne nuit, dear reader with ears so patient to the morning i travel my pillow adjacent Oh, and looking back now, those DAHS episodes aren't nearly so regrettable as I made them out to be.

Not bad at all. I got to hear Michael Geist speak about the state of copyright in Canada, a state that's gotten considerably worse with Bill C-61. Then I got to meet and talk with my local MP, Peggy Nash. That was pretty cool. Energizes me to want to do something about the bill. It has been suggested that the only way to make politicians take notice of it is if copyright becomes a deciding factor in an election, but how that will happen I haven't the faintest. I must admit I felt a bit like a phony, sitting there, listening mostly but not really thinking. Or maybe that's silly, some kind of Torontonian malaise that causes people to feel awkward if they show enthusiasm for something.

I got my confirmation today -- I will be meditating at the Vipassana center this August 13th through to the 24th. Excited, yes. At the same time I don't want to put all my hope into it, that it will provide answers to the holes in my life. Perhaps it will make no difference at all, and so I need to accept that possibility. Certainly it will be an experience worth having. Three scant weeks away.... Sleep, it escapes me again. My fault this time for having gone to bed around 5 AM Sunday morning, getting caught in that awful humidity and rain. Shot a third episode, am not exactly thrilled with the results. I feel like the more we shoot, the more apologies I'll have to submit! Oh dear. Why can I not merely enjoy the pablums of life? I had given thought to a 24-hour hwan.com journal-writing marathon. Just the keyboard and my blurst of time thoughts. Well.. perhaps that's something for when I tire of civilized life. Which might not be too far away, the road being so long and ...

Lo my brothers I bring great tidings from the other side! There I have seen the truth and the way, and it is good. A golden age has come upon us, and its name is The Dark Knight. Long I have waited for its arrival, and my patience has been well rewarded. Nay, such riches beyond my imagination: such acting, action, story, drama! All in great measure, all to great effect. Heath Ledger's Joker is surely the villain of the year, a complex, intelligent, dangerous, eloquent, unpredictable animal with a charm that fills every scene. I mean, superb acting all around but Ledger is just a dynamo, a catalyst -- he makes the movie the satisfying experience that it is. And of course, as with all films I recommend, this one has an excellent ending which I shan't otherwise comment on. Go forth and enjoy! Hmmm while I'm here I'll also quickly write my thoughts on Attack the Gas Station ("Juyuso seubgyuksageun"), a Korean comedy from 1999. Four ne'er-do-well punks attem...

Holy jim-jiminy is it ever humid outside. Gross, disgustingly so. I walked down the street to get a burger and I scurried back to the office, overheating. I am thankful I have this desk fan here, it is such a comfort, ready to cool me down when I arrive from my morning ride. Oh, I bought tickets to see Batman and did not want to do the ride home and ride back, as pleasing the prospect of a shower may be. I will be leaving shortly to line-up, though I sincerely hope there will be little call for it. I wonder if it's the heat that has made me so very antsy of late. Certainly I am a troll if not fed on time, but that has always been the case. No, there's something more to it than that. A form of middle-aged boredom? What exactly is this unscratchable itch? Why am I not content to merely enjoy life? Upsetting experiences this week? I've had two: one, finding a dead house caterpillar the size of my forefinger in a bowl I left overnight in the sink and two, taking a bite of a...

The new Hellboy movie is not too shabby! I don't know if I really am in the mood to do a full review (if you can call what I say about films to be reviews). I enjoyed it, yes. Action? Lots. Humor? Quite a bit! I guess the one problem I have is that there's no closure with these comic-book films -- the ending is more of an end of a chapter rather than the end of a book. Also, the characters are still fairly shallow and simple. I saw it at the Varsity, so there were plenty of seats and no need to rub elbows with strangers. Friday after work I went with some friends to the Outdoor Art Exhibition, held at Nathan Phillips. I guess it was alright. Some of the pieces were very mundane, of the "arts and crafts" variety, and some were pretty damn impressive, priced accordingly. Saturday I did my Korean thing, had a huge Greek meal, played some go, ate two Big Macs and shot an episode of a webisode of ... well, I'm not exactly sure what the show is. I guess it's just...

Today a family of tourists asked me where they could find a Chinese buffet. I gave them directions to Chinatown, but I fear that they will not find what they were looking for. I almost turned back to let them know that Indian buffet was far more popular in Toronto's downtown. Should I be worried about their culinary welfare? Even now I hope they found gastronomic satisfaction, if only so that they don't curse that squinty-eyed, long-haired guy with a bicycle on his shoulder. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure they asked me because of my squinty-ness. I spent most of the evening playing and watching backgammon. I still derive great pleasure (both auditory and tactile) from the manipulation of the cup, dice and checkers. Perhaps I should get into the habit of playing with the fellows at work, though I would like to raise my game a few notches.

Strangely enough, I went to a cottage this weekend . I mean, I'm not exactly the cottage-going type -- few amenities, lots of bugs, zero computers. Still, I managed to enjoy myself with good company, lots of exercise, and plenty of food. The cottage was located right beside Sandy Lake (north-east of Peterborough), which you can see in this Google Maps link is incredibly clear and clean. The warm weather combined with the bright yet mild sunlight allowed us to spend hours canoeing, paddle-boating, and swimming. In the evening we fiddled and prodded and poked with a campfire, a definite case of too many chefs in the kitchen ("They said it couldn't catch fire..."). There's definitely something to cooking and eating your own food over a wood flame, even if it is just a hotdog or marshmallow. I'm still not a cottage person, but I guess I have more of a tolerance to them. An open-mindedness, if you will. Thursday night I saw that new Wanted film. Ehhhhhh... wha...

I had a dream Sunday morning wherein I.. no, now I'm mixing it up entirely with Wall-E . No! Ok, I was supposed to take a test or exam (yes, in my dreams I'm often back in school, make what you will of that) and I wasn't prepared. It's funny, I haven't really had many stressful situations like that since school or university. When it comes to work you just need to surround yourself with resources -- people, internet, files and numbers. Rarely do you have to memorize a bunch of stuff and be prepared to demonstrate your skills. Except maybe in interviews. Anyway, the wall-e bit was.. hmm.. there was this kind of shuffling shelf unit, like where wall-e stores things he finds interesting. Eh, I did remember more at the time but it's all gone now, to a better place outside my head. In a not so guilty way, I played several hours of Call of Duty 4 Sunday and yesterday. I was lightly upset that I had to tone down the graphics quite a bit for it to run on my machine, b...

When you use the bathroom to wash your hands, do you often find that your bladder decides to, er, chime in? Is it because I know I'm in a bathroom, or is it maybe the smell that triggers some response? If I enter a room that I don't think is a bathroom but has all the trappings of one upon entering, will my peeing instinct kick in? Just got back from riding around that Humber Bay Park East area , sticking around the bridge to watch the sunset -- pastel purples, pinks and blue. I could barely perceive the shadows moving across the Toronto skyline, which I'd not seen before. A bit of exercise to take advantage of the lovely, very reasonable weather. Miracle fruit tasting I did go to work today, an otherwise pretty quiet day. Nice to be able to tinker on long put-off side projects, without the constant grind all up in mah grill. Yeah. We did have strawberries and champagne, which was nice. OH! Last Wednesday my miracle fruit delivery finally came in, and on Friday w...

Whoo, I just saw The Garage Door episode of Freaks and Geeks and it was.. oh man I just can't get over how much I love this show! I mean, sure, I loved The Office and Curb Your Enthusiasm , but Freaks is just so.. I dunno, all the characters are special and precious and authentic and wonderful. And it's set in the early 80s, which does have some meaning for me. Some, not a lot, but some. I mean hey, this episode featured Atari's! Oh man seeing those boxes and that black 2600 console with those blocky joysticks, does that ever take me back. Speaking of taking things back, Diablo 3 . Oh dear.

When you use the bathroom to wash your hands, do you often find that your bladder decides to, er, chime in? Is it because I know I'm in a bathroom, or is it maybe the smell that triggers some response? If I enter a room that I don't think is a bathroom but has all the trappings of one upon entering, will my peeing instinct kick in? Just got back from riding around that Humber Bay Park East area , sticking around the bridge to watch the sunset -- pastel purples, pinks and blue. I could barely perceive the shadows moving across the Toronto skyline, which I'd not seen before. A bit of exercise to take advantage of the lovely, very reasonable weather. Enjoying post-pill fruit I did go to work today, an otherwise pretty quiet day. Nice to be able to tinker on long put-off side projects, without the constant grind all up in mah grill. Yeah. We did have strawberries and champagne, which was nice. OH! Last Wednesday my miracle fruit delivery finally came in, and on Frida...

I neglected to mention that I met up with Growl Saturday before the dance thing. We had some Korean BBQ (eating like emperors) before walking around downtown, taking in the city as flaneur s are apt to do. Dundas Square has become even more of a teenage hangout than ever before: a PG-rated, blinking-billboard walled consumer arena, a coliseum of gaudy, tactless flash. I've ranted about  it  before , and I'll continue to do so as I continue to feel so. Dundas Square is pretty much a commercial zenith, a tribute to all that is awful with capitalism, cliché as it sounds. Am I the only one who thinks of themselves as boring? I often hear the question "So what have you been up to?" or "Have you done anything interesting lately?", and really, I pretty much always have little worth mentioning. Does that make me dull and unstimulating? Is it that I've become comfortable with routine and thus avoid the adventures that come with inexperience? Perhaps these ...

Yes, we've all had too much to drink this past week. Blame the weather! Can we blame the weather? The week seems to have zoomed right by, between drinking and blaming the weather. Tuesday Loopy and I met up to film a possible video podcast (or, as we old-timers would call it, a "video"), which is based on diggnation.com. Will you be able to see it? Well, it's nowhere near public-viewing readiness, and won't be for a while, so.. not yet. I will say that, despite the anticipated pressure, it was a lot of fun. I now see why people drink before shooting. Makes perfect sense. I went to see a friend's dance show , which turned out to be a much bigger thing than I'd imaged. Around 30 dances, many quite energetic and exhilarating. I liked the fact that many of the dancers were amateurs and you could see their personality come through their expression and body language. I have also been inspired to put more time back into getting myself into shape! I mean geez,...

I neglected to mention that, the other day, I saw Vincent Price in The Last Man on Earth , a film based on Richard Matheson's I Am Legend . Not so much based as copied; seeing it would definitely ruin the book for you, which provides a far superior experience. Nay, this film was laughable for its production values and voice-over acting. Still, I suppose for 1964 it isn't too bad. Even as a fan of the story I kind of regret seeing this adaptation. Now The Departed ... hmmm aye here's an interesting tale! I don't mean that the movie was great, rather I refer to the question as to why it is perceived as such. I say this not to court controversy or the like -- merely that I didn't think The Departed was all that it was made out to be. Suspenseful, yes. Very much so. But great great? I subscribe to the idea that an ending can save a film, as well as undo the merits of everything before it, and I just was not satisfied with that ending.

Ugh, had a strong cup of coffee after a late dinner and so here I be, typing away like a not so happy camper. Father's Day dinner with the family, to be precise -- Korean food and far more dessert than five people can realistically consume. I spent much of today cleaning and cutting strawberries and blackberries, listening to The Office in the background. Oooh.. suddenly got a bit tired there for a second, which is good. Saturday I watched the final bits of Once Upon a Time In High School: The Spirit of Jeet Kune Do , a movie which, like many Korean films, moved a little all over the place. At the heart are two stories, the first concerning the relationship between Hyeon-su, the new kid, and Woo-shik, the cool leader, and Eun-ju, the beautiful girl they both fall for. Secondly is the trials of being a military-styled/run high school, complete with daily beatings and rankings or seniorities, a system that breeds resistance by its very existance. Being all over the place is not...