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Well, it's been over a week since my Vipassana experience . Adequate time to analyze my state of mind and mood. Simply, I only feel slightly different. See, I've been, of late before the retreat, constantly trying to calm my temper down which flares frequently at work. Not because of the work itself (not lately anyway, now that I have a pretty good grip on what I'm doing) but rather due to the after hour gaming sessions, usually xbox gaming and StarCraft . Not in a terribly serious way, but enough that afterwards I had to pause and ruefully reflect on how I felt. And it happened again today! Oh dear. So, perhaps thinking 10 days of meditation would help is a bit much. But again, am I different? I think yes, very slightly so. My perspective is clearer, I think. I am more inclined to believe the meditation did some good, which is practically the same as it being true, no? I'm afraid I haven't been keeping up with the mediation itself. I did fix my egg...

Disclaimer: These are my thoughts and interpretations of what was taught during a 10-day Vipassana introductory course. I'll try to be accurate, but I'm doing this from memory so I apologize for any mistakes. I suggest the Vipassana Wikipedia entry as a starting point if you want a more neutral, matter of fact synopsis. Summary: Vipassana is a nonsectarian meditation technique, focusing on results and practicality. One should be able to immediately see improvements in one's ability to deal with situations, with an aim towards liberty and eventually enlightenment (in the Buddhist sense). I personally found the living conditions a daily strain on my nerves, which greatly hindered my enjoyment of the 10-day course. I am currently skeptical of the results and am withholding judgment on its efficacy. A) The Vipassana Course Day 1 -- Observing respiration: Instructions on sitting are not given, with only the suggestion that one keeps one's back straight and head high. A...

Here's the text of an email I wrote a friend regarding my Vipassana experience, a teaser of a much longer article I'm working on. it was the most grueling thing i'd ever done. i was pushed to the limits of my mental tolerance. it is not easy stuff to do. i don't think it has any particular agenda, but i didn't enjoy their "If you are doing Vipassana correctly, you'll want other people to join." philosophy. Otherwise, there doesn't seem to be anything suspicious or fishy about it. Most of the people, on the last day when we could talk, seemed to have loved the experience. i was mostly just glad to get out of there, but i admit that i was curious as to what effect it would have on my daily life. thus far, it's hard to say. i think i'm still recovering from the lack of sleep and food (i lost 8 lbs!), so i'm hesitant to gauge any differences in my emotions and reactions. it might be a lot less shocking if you are already in the habi...

Well, I'm back. Tired, mentally and physically. I'm not sure yet what effect 10 days of Vipassana meditation (100 hours total) has or will have on me. Right now I feel the drain of little sleep, little food and little exercise. In fact, I may just treat myself to some McDonald's! I have many thoughts and notes which I'll leak out over the next while. Right now I need real sustenance, to consume the flesh of an animal and feel ALIVE.

Just another six days until I leave for Barrie and Vipassana. I decided, perhaps rashly, that I would stop my coffee consumption today. I got through work well enough but my ride home was filled with unease and mild headaches. I seem to be paying quite a bit now, but that could be the orange Mr. Clean fumes as I am trying to tidy my place up before leaving. I also got rid of a rug that I suspect was responsible for the vast majority of the dust in my apartment. Whoo craigslist! Anyway! Six more days. I bought a couple cushions for meditating on, a travel alarm clock and some clothes (but I may get more). They say to bring mosquito repellent and a water bottle, which I think I'll get tomorrow from MEC. I do worry that I'll forget much of my Korean, and how much my body will atrophy without exercise. Oh gosh this was a bad idea. This journal entry, I mean. a) I don't have any news, and b) I am bushed. Time to shutdown.

I got my confirmation today -- I will be meditating at the Vipassana center this August 13th through to the 24th. Excited, yes. At the same time I don't want to put all my hope into it, that it will provide answers to the holes in my life. Perhaps it will make no difference at all, and so I need to accept that possibility. Certainly it will be an experience worth having. Three scant weeks away.... Sleep, it escapes me again. My fault this time for having gone to bed around 5 AM Sunday morning, getting caught in that awful humidity and rain. Shot a third episode, am not exactly thrilled with the results. I feel like the more we shoot, the more apologies I'll have to submit! Oh dear. Why can I not merely enjoy the pablums of life? I had given thought to a 24-hour hwan.com journal-writing marathon. Just the keyboard and my blurst of time thoughts. Well.. perhaps that's something for when I tire of civilized life. Which might not be too far away, the road being so long and ...