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In media people are portrayed as alert and cognizant right up to the moment they pass, able to give a final message to a loved one. Not so with my father, and I feel his death is more typical of the experience — a disinterest in watching or reading anything, increasingly jumbled speech, a loss of any appetite or thirst, just long periods of sleep. Finally a day or more of near-constant sleep, his heart beating slower and slower, until we turned away for a moment and he was gone. Though really he had been dying in varying degrees for weeks, his bodily performance a far cry from even a couple months before. It’s been over a month since the funeral  but the events leading up to it are still fresh in my mind, a history where my dad still lives, still has advice for me, still has smiles for his friends and family. My grief comes and goes, gradually trending to a melancholy, a deep sigh in my day. In truth I have been grieving these past few years as signs of my father’s end would appear and

Hello, my name is Hwan Hong, and I’m Song-ho’s son. I want to thank everyone who came to say goodbye to my father. I know that he would have been very happy to see your faces and pleased to know that there are so many who care about him. I also want to thank my aunt, my sister, my mom, and my wife for helping me write this eulogy. We came to Canada all the way from South Korea 50 years ago, in 1974, just months after my parents were married. Since then, I have come to think of my dad as someone who made time for others, someone who was comfortable working with his hands, and someone who tackled obstacles straight on. My dad valued his friendships a lot and took being a good friend seriously. He would go the extra mile to help a friend; whether it was a golf lesson, a gardening tip, or just cracking a tough Sudoku puzzle, he would find the time. I remember seeing his face light up with that big smile of his whenever he took a call from someone he knew. He loved his friends, and being th

Back in mid-May my dad was admitted into his local hospital's emergency ward with very low blood pressure, a low sodium level, and a build-up of fluid in his abdomen. We were all pretty concerned, especially my mom, who wanted someone with him around the clock. He was able to get it treated and was released in relatively good spirits a week later; I set myself up at their house to help out. Dad wasted no time to restart his recovery regimen, pushing his way through via spurts of exercise and rest.  We had some home care help, which he very grudgingly accepted. And despite his protests I went ahead and installed some grip bars in the bathrooms and shower. On May 29th, less than a week after his hospital release, we ended up calling for an ambulance. That day my dad had little appetite, complaining of nausea and a sticky, dry mouth, self-medicating himself on a chain of Pepto Bismo's, culminating in his throwing up a dark, oozing mass and in obvious distress. They discovered a bl

I turned fifty last month. We had a small party with old faces, lots of laughs, and, at least for me, a reminder of the life I had before the pandemic, before having a kid, before my colon surgery . That is to say, a good time, and I hope to have many more like it. I do feel older, in practical, daily ways. For one thing my eyes have gotten much worse over the past year, so bad that I find myself looking over my glasses to look at my phone. My skin is just ravaged by this dry winter air, well beyond anything I'd ever experienced. A lifetime of neglect and sun-exposure has finally caught up to me. While I'm not exactly getting heavy I have noticed a softness building up around my torso. So over the past few months I've taken to doing modified burpees as my daily exercise and have been pretty happy with the results. I do them in small bursts, HIIT-style, and that seems about the pace I can afford, both on a time and energy level. I do try to play video games but I definitely

My dad has three to six months left to live. My sister and I got the news over the weekend, preceded by a discouraging call from my mom saying she had some "news" about my dad. It turns out that the brachytherapy  he'd started last year (as the laser ablation treatments were proving less and less effective) had greatly damaged his liver and that the cancer was now spreading rapidly. I could immediately tell, as we all sat at the kitchen table, that my parents had some serious things to say. I sensed a slight jump in my heartrate but didn't find tears until later that night, my eyes closed and hearing nothing but death's door hovering closer and closer, now more tangible than ever. My dad was very calm about delivering his sentence -- to him, these past 27 years with liver cancer were all a bonus on top of the life he'd already had: growing up in a Japanese-occupied Korea, escaping the violence of the Korean War by travelling south by train and leaving behind f

I mostly  enjoyed The Last of Us' first season though there were lots of changes that irked me, such as the portrayal of the self-sustaining commune and the isolated couple. I know it's late but maybe a quick rundown of recently consumed media is called for? House of the Dragon (Season 1): Pretty good. Much more palatable than Game of Thrones, feels a lot less sensational. The Banshees of Inisherin (2022): I enjoyed it, sure. Seems I'm still squeamish, even now. Better Call Saul: Excellent, top tier stuff. The Lalo stuff was a bit overwrought but seeing Jimmy and Kim struggle to make it really hit hard. Invincible (Season 1): I really liked it but I wish they'd used different actors -- having recognizable voices is distracting. The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (Season 1): Awful, just terrible. Feels like a kids show written by an AI -- most of the parts are there but overall doesn't make sense, like drowning in a feverish dream. The dialog is super awkward.